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W.Va. Voters’ Declaration of Independence

October 10, 2008

Etc.

In light of a recent American Reseach Group poll that shows Obama (oh, sweet Lord!) UP in West Virginia over John “I never met a mudsling I didn’t like” McCain, I herewith reprint for further dissemination (especially into the hinterlands of the Mountain State), the following:

Sign on to this West Virginia Voters’ Declaration of Independence and pass it on. Let’s you (and you and you and you) and me decide the election this time in the Mountain State.

The West Virginia Voters’ Declaration of Independence

I hereby declare that I am
a voting citizen of West Virginia. Be it resolved that while “they” say West Virginia is not “in play” and is a sure bet for John McCain on Nov. 4, I hereby place West Virginia in play.

With this declaration, I vow that I will not be swayed by political stunts, October “surprises” and any supposed “revelations” the McCain campaign or Fox News unveils at the last minute against Barack Obama. I hereby will not stand for it anymore.

I state unequivocally that the McCain campaign and NRA will not earn my vote by flooding the state with rumor, innuendo and propaganda that Barack Obama will take away my hunting rifle or handgun. He has no intention of doing so, whatever you whisper in my neighbors’ ear, as campaign operatives did the last election and are trying again to do in this one.

Let it be stated that many
West Virginians voted for George Bush and he did not take away our guns. Instead, he put guns into the hands of our firemen, police officers, National Guardsmen, our fathers and mothers, sons, daughters and kids just out of high school. Then, he shipped them off to a godforsaken trillion-dollar civil war whose fuse he himself lit.

Let it be further acknowledged I am fully aware that John McCain proudly states he has voted more than 90 percent of the time with the Bush-Cheney administration. Let it hereby be known I have had it with that view of the world and the terrible mess it has created.

I state that I am a West Virginian,
a land of strong people and its share of warriors. And while we revere the service of grand old men who may once have been prisoners of war, we are not so dumb that we can’t see the forest for the trees when it comes to how people actually vote in office.

And speaking of trees, I hereby declare that eight years of George Bush’s mis-rule has brought nothing to West Virginia except unregulated mountaintop removal and the further destruction of what makes my state so special. I declare this: do you think I am so dumb as to want to be kicked a third time — I mean, a third term?

I also declare my independence from the need to vote along with my mother, or uncle or that guy down at the bar who all say Obama is secretly a dangerous Muslim. Or that guy at the end of the bar who would never let into the White House a (fill in your offensive word for a black man here). I hereby declare my vote for Obama will cancel that guy’s vote.

I also state that Obama has acted in this long, hard campaign with the grace, civility and patience I associate with the way the Christian faith is always telling us to behave. Let it be known that this good ol’ boy (or girl) intends to vote for the one candidate who stood up for my neighbor who went to war. I also herein note that my support goes to the one candidate who did not vote against benefits for veterans, unlike the one veteran in the race who has done so numerous times.

Therefore, be it resolved, that no matter what the media or McCain campaign say about West Virginians, and no matter what poisonous things my anti-Obama acquaintances say about him, I am alone with myself in the voting booth and will do what I wish.

Be it known that when they ask me how I voted, I will say I voted for what was best for me, for my family, for the state of West Virginia, for the nation and the world. And then I will smile and keep my own counsel.

I also state that I understand Obama has had to promise the moon, suggesting he will do amazing things to fix all that has been broken in the Bush-Cheney years. I hereby recognize he is just one guy and that there will be a great let-down and much grumbling in the land when the second coming of FDR or JFK or Jesus Christ does not occur after he wins.

I declare I am down with that. No one could fix such a mess as the one left behind after George Bush stole the family car and drove it into a ditch.

So, let it be known I offer my shoulder in getting America’s car up out of that ditch and back on the road again. I am a Mountaineer and not afraid of a little hard work. I look forward — and hereby request from Barack Obama — in exchange for my unwavering support — an honest administration from him.

I attest on this day, that whatever time remains before Nov. 4, I offer my aid, persuasive abilities and moral and physical support in the cause of making happen the surprise news to the pundits that West Virginia “went” for Obama.

Sign on and comment on the “West Virginia Voters’ Declaration of Independence” below in the ‘Comments.’

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