WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST find inside the big present under the Christmas tree?

Emptiness.

OK, you have to have some passing familiarity with Buddhist teachings to get the joke (see "sunyata," etc). Whether you get the joke or not, doesn't mean a Buddhist meditator might not appreciate the right present. Below are some of Hundred Mountain's suggested gifts, either for this holiday season or for any time, really, for the spiritual seeker on your list ---both for Buddhists and for someone who may not call themselves a Buddhist but who is interested in Buddhist meditation and the Buddha's teachings.

We include some excellent books, tapes and offbeat oddities. Take, for instance, the Alien Buddha poster seen above, which can be ordered from www.allposters. com The poster would certainly be suitable for any homesick extraterrestrial meditators you know. But it also recalls the Buddhist teaching that Buddhas have manifested innumerable times through endless aeons and on any number of worlds. Why not an Alien Buddha? Or an oxen Buddha, for that matter. As Xenophanes said:

"If oxen and horses or lions had hands, and could paint with their hands and produce works of art as men do, horses would paint the forms of the gods like horses, and oxen like oxen, and make their bodies in the image of their several kinds."

The Buddha's out there.

OUR GIFT LIST ALSO INCLUDES a few caveat emptor buddhos -- let the buyer of Buddhist-oriented things beware.

Buddhist-sounding stuff---meditation-related and supposedly spirit-enhancing, especially if it has an alleged Tibetan connection---is all the rage in scores of catalogs in these spiritually hungry, stressed-out latter days. We leave it up to your innate Buddha wisdom nature whether a $495 video goggle meditation unit will indeed put you on the Autobahn to enlightenment.

We do propose one standard, though, in choosing any merchandise that has the word 'Tibet' associated with it. Examine whether any portion of the proceeds from your purchase benefits a genuine Tibetan aid agency, organization or co-op, one that is working to assist or benefit the Tibetan people, Tibetan monks, nuns and monasteries, or the cause of Tibetan independence in the face of that vicious 800-pound gorilla of Communist Chinese oppression.

If not, look elsewhere---you're likely tossing money to an opportunistic, probably ethically challenged peddler trying to cash in on that old Tibetan Shangri-La mystique thing while a cultural catastrophe unfolds in the real Tibet.

PAGE 2: A Few Good Books...